INTERNAL DIALOGUE
by Tribeca
Summary: Shenny in a dark movie theater. What he thinks. What she thinks. One shot.


**A/N: This is just a silly, naughty little Shenny one shot. I am working on another fic that I plan on posting in a few weeks and this just kind of popped into my mind and wouldn't leave me alone. It's a different style that I thought I would try out with switching thoughts back and forth between Sheldon and Penny. Let me know what you think.**

**INTERNAL DIALOGUE**

**Penny:**

It's funny how perfect he is…perfect in a fucked up way. That's it, he's perfect in a fucked up way. And I am stuck between wanting to take him to bed on one hand and wanting to strangle him on the other.

He's a (beautiful) freak. He has his spot that no one is allowed to sit in, he goes ballistic if I touch his food and he makes me drive him to that damn comic book store all the time. He's a grown man for God's sake.

But I…want him. No, wait, I don't.

He does something sweet like loan me money when I think I'm one day away from being evicted. He teaches me WoW and physics when no one else will take the time. He helps me with my Penny Blossoms. He makes me…_laugh._

I just keep hanging out here in some sort of limbo. On the fence. Wanting him and hating him at the same time. So far I have chosen to do…well, nothing.

**Sheldon:**

That woman drives me mad. The constant chaos that is her existence continues to seep over into my apartment and into my life. And I find myself wanting to touch her and banish her all at the same time.

She's loud, she's touches my food and sits in my spot and beats me at Halo.

But she sings Soft Kitty to me when I'm sick. And she drives me places when no one else even wants to be around me. And she laughs at most of my bazingas. _Most of them. _She challenges me in ways no one else ever has. I think…I like it. I think I like _her_.

I am in this perpetual purgatory and I need to unearth a solution.

I think inviting her to accompany me to this movie was a good way to gather further data. For experimental purposes of course. If I'm completely honest, it's a…date. A real date.

**Penny:**

Look at him sitting there so smugly. His skin, even in this dark theater looks like…porcelain. How does a guy's skin look like porcelain? I thought that was a girl thing?

He's so handsome and the funny thing is he doesn't even know it. I wish I could tell him.

I wonder what he would do if I just reached over and held his hand. He'd either have a heart attack and the usher would have to call an ambulance or he'd issue me five strikes and I wouldn't get to speak to him for a week.

Or maybe…just maybe…he'd hold my hand right back. Maybe.

I hope he can't see me staring at him.

**Sheldon:**

Is she staring at me? I think she's staring at me.

Of course if I weren't looking at her, I wouldn't notice that she is looking at me.

That guy two rows in front of us has his arm around his date. I wonder what Penny would do if I put my arm around her. I could pretend to stretch and then drop my arm on the back of her seat. But if I did that she might punch me in the throat.

Does she even know this is a date?

**Penny:**

Okay, I'm Nebraska strong and proud. I'm no California wimp like everyone else we know. I'm going to go for it. Go big or go home, right?

I'm going to just reach over and grab his hand and hold on tight.

Oh shit. I'll wait five minutes. Maybe he'll grab my hand first. Shit.

**Sheldon:**

Did her hand just twitch? Did she move it a millimeter closer to me? Or am I just projecting my desires and it was merely an optical illusion?

God, did MY hand just twitch?

**Penny:**

I THINK HIS HAND JUST TWITCHED.

**Sheldon:**

I'm a man, damit. I need to act like it. Sure, I'm a superior man, but still at the end of the day, just a man. I need to, what is it I hear the fellows say all the time? Man up. Yes, I need to man up. I'm just going to reach over and…

Wait, she just grabbed my arm…

**Penny:**

Thank God for scary movie scenes. What a great excuse to…touch him. Now if he flips out and yells at me, I'll apologize and tell him that scene startled me.

Wait. He's…he's not pushing me away. He's not moving away from me. He's moving his hand towards me.

Oh God. His hand is on my knee.

**Sheldon:**

Good Lord. My hand is on her knee. Thank you Jesus. _As my mother would say_.

I can't breathe.

**Penny:**

Is he breathing? God, I hope he doesn't faint.

Should I say something? Do something? Something just to let him know it's okay. Something to let him know I want him to touch me.

**Sheldon:**

She just whispered my name. I've never heard her say my name like that before.

Why did that feel so good? The way she said my name, why did that feel so good? One can't actually _feel_ words.

**Penny:**

He just squeezed my knee a little. And now his thumb is rubbing circles on my leg. And did he just slide his hand up a little bit? It's past my knee.

Oh God…should I sit still? I'm not sure I can.

Why won't he look at me?

**Sheldon:**

What am I doing? Why is my hand suddenly working independently from my brain?

Stop. Go. Go hand. Wait, stop where is it going? Stop hand. _Go hand_.

**Penny:**

I haven't even kissed him and he's making me…really? Really Sheldon?

Really.

**Sheldon:**

Okay, I have to regain control. I am civilized.

Wait, why did she just loop her arm through mine? And now…her head is on my shoulder.

I'm not sure I'm very comfortable with…

Oh, her hair smells nice.

**Penny:**

Why the hell did he stop? God.

I'm sure he's sitting there trying to fight his, what does he call it, oh, primitive biological urges.

**Sheldon:**

Damn primitive biological desires.

Only seventeen minutes remain before the final credits roll.

The guy in front of me? He's kissed his date three times now.

I'm much more intelligent than he. Why then can he kiss his girl and I can't kiss…wait, I haven't established that Penny is _my girl_. Oh.

I shouldn't have been so quick to stop my hand.

I know Penny. If she wanted to stop it, she would have stopped it. And the way she said my name.

I'm nothing if not adaptable.

**Penny:**

Oh. Oh yeah. Looks like his giant brain lost that round. Score one for primitive biological whatever…

Ummm, he's getting awfully brave. And God, I can't just pretend like what he's doing isn't affecting me.

**Sheldon:**

Oh. She can't sit still. Why is she raising her hips and sliding around? She needs to be still or she'll call attention to us.

What was that sound she just made?

Oh, I think that was me.

**Penny:**

Did I break him? He's frozen. He won't look at me.

I know how to get him moving…I'm not a big 'ole five for nothing…

**Sheldon:**

Wait. How did her hand get _there_?

If she goes much higher, she'll feel my…

No. She can't…private parts…danger…danger…

**Penny:**

Oh my God. Did his fingers just brush across my…is he pressing just the right…oh God…

He's going to make me come just so I will move my hand away…

Oh God…he's really…damn…fuck…

**Sheldon:**

Oh. It worked. She…I think I just made her…

Oh, why did I want her to move her hand from me? God. I don't care if I'm civilized or not. I want her hand back on me.

Now.

**Penny:**

Oh God. Sheldon Lee Cooper just brought me to orgasm through my jeans in a fucking movie theater. What universe is this?

Wait, did he just put my hand on his…

God, just how big is he?

We need to get out of here. It's too dark and I want…I need…to see him.

**Sheldon:**

Why is she saying she wants to go?

The movie isn't over yet and I…

Oh.

I'll purchase it when it comes out on Blu-ray.


End file.
